Decided to escape for a few days and go to my homeland. It had been 5 years since I have set foot there and mind you, I have free flights! So that says a lot. My dad and my dad's side of the family lives there still so I had more than enough reasons to go.
I realized that even though I had forgave my dad for being absent in my life, I still held it against him. Still felt like there was more that could had been done, that if it was my child I would had tried harder. I realized how thinking like this affected me in all the relationships I have come across and how everyone struggles with mommy/daddy issues.
I decided to go to Puerto Rico and finally say what has been on my chest. What my inner child has been wanting to say. Two days in and I did not think it was going to happen. My dad is old, and I did not want to make him feel bad. A day before I was flying out, I was confronted by my two nephews that live there. Our communication was severed by the choices of our parents but they made me realize that I was being absent in their life because my dad was absent in mine. We were passing this down in generations and I did not even realize.
Thanks to their strength, I went ahead and confronted my dad right before getting dropped off the airport. As the words "I forgive you" came out of my mouth I could see the barrier that had been between us being broken and it was like a breath of fresh air. I realized that this helped me more than it did to him, and the generational curse was broken right in front of my eyes.
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