Last night I had a very long vivid dreams about my life. I know it was long because I woke up at various hours of the night and would still continue with the dream.
I was visiting New York and it seems I had plans on meeting with someone I had been off and on with. I stopped at the house of one of my girl's family (which I've never met and never knew existed) and they tell me that they are leaving for the week and they did not mind I stayed there and even used their car for the mean time. Meaning I did not stay with the guy, and was able to feel like I had my own place in the city.
I took the car drove up and down the city trying new places to eat. I even remember exactly what I ordered. I would go in these mom and pops places and get to know the staff, ask for their best dish and try it out. I was alone but never felt alone (and I always found parking!) and all this time and I still had not met up or heard from the guy I intended to see.
Out of nowhere I get pictures and videos of this guy living up and hanging out with girls even started dating one of them and it made me realize how easy it was for him to switch up on me and go back to his usual antics. My mom and sister came to visit and that exact time, and told me they will be visiting the museum I had been dying to see. They asked me to ask myself what I wanted and they will be back to pick me up.
I decided to leave and ask myself what I wanted. I came across the new girl the guy was dating and felt relieved that it was not me. I ran into two girls that seemed to be my friends, they were dressed up and told me how much this town had to offer me. I went back upstairs with them and started looking at dresses and shoes that I could wear for the night out and dreams end.
This dream made me realize how much I plan my life around others instead of myself and how much help can be provided to me if I just put myself in the situations to be able to receive. I was provided shelter and transportation without having to ask and this is similar to my life and how me just being myself and connecting wholeheartedly with others it has open up doors for me.
It also made me realize that I do not dress up anymore and just go out to enjoy life. It reminds me when I was a teen into my early twenties and I would wear heels everywhere. I would go to church with my girl and wear our best garments and now I would not be able to tell you the last time I wore heels and dressed up in a very long time. Connecting truly with my feminine self.
When I woke up a few people had sent me an IG video even people I don't really interact with. The video was of a pastor explaining how God shows us the plan but not how to get there, and God has shown me the end goal before and how its my job to start working on the plan to get there and being the true self God knowns I can be its a great place to start. I have been sedentary in my life and for good reasons. But it is time for me to get up dress up and conquer the city with the things that have been provided to me and the people who have always been by my side.
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