I often debate if I should be open to dating or to keep the focus on me. As much as I believe that I need to be enjoying my singlehood, I cant help but notice how much dating has changed for both men and women. Casual dating is non existent as men feel entitled to your time after being taken out on a first date. Men has shown hesitation to take a girl out on a date unless there's a for sure chance of getting laid or the promise of a connection. But how would you ever know if you don't put yourself out there? What happened to building a solid friendship/foundation? I understand how people have messed it up for the rest in the past. But at some point we have to take accountability of our own wrong doings and work on healing the need to have certain expectations.
On another note, how do you know something is worth the investment? After the first date, it should be clear if you would like to see the person again or not. But we have to acknowledge the facts. Just because you have a good time does not mean you are compatible. I have learned that if I can't talk to you about certain topics like (5D, Science, Religion, Relationships and meaning of life) then it is my duty to not keep entertaining someone just because there was an attraction. I have to know myself enough to know that I not only want a spark but I'd want my mind expanded and challenged. This is not the time for me to teach someone the basics, it is time for me to surround myself with people or a partner that has gone through certain processes and has healed or at least is aware of the healing they need.
BUT. What if I can talk to you about all of this but not have a romantic spark? Do I deserve to be made feel bad because I did not want to lead you on? am I wrong for wanting to keep you as a friend because we can talk the same language in a sense? We should all be open to the possibility that a person may have been meant to be in your life but not necessarily for the reasons you may want them to be. Sometimes our ego and our impatience ruin many relationships (weather in love or friendships) before they even begin. And sometimes we miss the lesson we were meant to learn with that person, we miss out on the growth we could be making due to our ego. I challenge you to reflect on how you are viewing relationships and dating and find what expectations you are putting on the person or situation. How would you do things differently?
Quote from one of my favorite books The Mastery of love says:
"And what is the right woman, the right man? Someone who wants to go in the same direction as you do, someone who is compatible with your views and your values-- emotionally, physically, economically, spiritually."--Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love
Do not be afraid to say no. Do not settle for the comfort zone. The person for you will be in your life when you are ready for them. But you have to do the inner work. God Bless!
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