Dating sucks. I hate small talk and I hate starting over. At some point I found myself not even putting any effort anymore. As bad as it may sound, I would only go on a date if I was really bored or hungry. Maybe I just felt lonely. Halfway through the date I already knew I would probably never see that person again. I decided to look within and figure out why this became a pattern. Why do I crave love so much but when it comes knocking, I ran and hide like if Jehovah's witness were at the door?
I had to go back in time and work on those daddy issues. Is it better to have met your dad and then losing him or not having met him at all? I was daddy's little girl and I got anything I wanted. My dad was successful yet very humble. So I learned to ask for what I needed not what I wanted. After being away from him, I created a habit of relying in men. I had the idea of marriage and kids engraved in my brain and I wanted to excel at that, at being a wife.
Obviously things never worked out that way because what comes with daddy issues is co-dependency, abandonment and trust issues. And I was a prime example of all this things.
After a very long time of working on myself and with the great help of God, I finally found my identity. The way I stepped in a room was never the same again. I was good on my own but not stubborn to pretend that I didn't want someone to love on at times. My dating prospects and qualities I was looking for kept upgrading, as I became a better me the people I met were better than the one before. It was a constant upgrade in my life, to the point that I became afraid of settling. Which is something I should work on as well.
But doing this made me realize how many guys I met, or just people in general that had unworked mommy/daddy issues. Some were oblivious to it and some actually knew how much it affected their lives. I realized that ALL of us have it in different levels and circumstances. Even though I felt their pain, I knew they would not be a good person to date unless they were open to work on this issue(as much as I wanted to guide them). Because at the end of the day its all about forgiveness. Are you willing to put the pain aside/ego aside and forgive the person(s) that should had been there for you? Realizing that its about you and not them, that you need to heal in order to have healthy relationships with family, love and even friends. Are you willing to finally be honest with yourself?
If you have any questions or wish to open up to me feel free to submit your email and I will reach back out to you!
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