Dear God,
I do not understand why I get attached to people so fast and so hard. To the point of obsession. I really feel like giving up on the idea of meeting someone and falling in love. And I think that is maybe what the point is, for me to stop expecting it, stop thinking about it and one day it will just show up. Once I focus on what I have been avoiding: myself and my success. Things will automatically fall in place. But I am scared of how much power I have, i make people uncomfortable because I apply pressure, you don't have to tell me what is wrong because I already know. You don't have to tell me how you want to be loved because I'll already know what you lack and deserve to have. I've never had someone look at me the same way I look at others. I've been loved but not understood, how can you love what you do not fully understand?
I always hated chasing money because even when I won, I did not feel like a winner. I realized that I should be more intentional on who I spend my time with. People with my same values and goals, create a team that helps each other grow. But how can I do that when I suck at making solid relationships or I keep attracting people that do not share these qualities with me?
My trust is healing, I am starting to be more open and let people in. But it is hard to find a man that is willing to be my friend (team) without them wanting to try something more. And with girls I have been backstabbed so often that I do not even know how to let a girl into my business. But I cannot change the world by keeping people away. I need a better approach, a better plan and follow through
I always say I am the complete definition of unconditional love, but I realized how I never got the same in return. Yet, I still gave. God, Help me set up healthy boundaries with people. Help me let go easier and faster when it is needed. Help me let go when I am not being appreciated. Love is not going to be my weakness anymore but my strongest weapon. I know the promise you gave me, and I know it will stand. You will provide me with my biggest dreams, as long as I let you keep leading my steps. Bring people in my life that are willing to make a difference, not money chaser but people with the heart to help others. Bring a partner when I am ready, someone that can love unconditional like I do. Someone that is not obsessed with money, yet we never lack anything. I am willing to wait for the right one at the right time. For the right people and the right opportunities.
Today, I am letting go of everyone that is not in the same track that I am on. Let April bring newness into my life and let it be the beginning of the best life I could ever receive.
I am unique, I am abundant, I am whole.
Thank You.
Amen.
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